Yes, it’s been awhile……a long while
No, I don’t have a good excuse
Yes, it’s because I’ve been avoiding you……and every other responsibility
The whole purpose of this blog was to give myself a source of accountability for my writing–yeah, also to build interest in my works, but mostly to keep me honest and on task. Which is why I have been avoiding you. #guilty conscience #writer’s block #avoidance tactics
For those of you who have been following the journey, you know I struggled with editing Sara’s Moon, but eventually persevered (with a substantial amount of belly aching). Then it was off to the real editor, where it survived and grew from a grueling three rounds of edits. Between the polishing, official cover, and revised blurb the book is finally ready for publishing in *cough* October. Right?
Time to be honest. I knew, despite all of the revisions, something was still missing, something important. So, I did the thing I should have done first: I enlisted four, unbiased, Beta readers; people who don’t know me or anything about me beyond the manuscript given them (and if they Facebook stalk I guess). In the pursuit of well-rounded feedback I split it between two genres: Fantasy and Romance. As of now, I’ve heard back from three of four. While some of the feedback has been generous, the rest put into words what I have been struggling to for months/years. *Sigh*
Now after almost a decade, I have finally swallowed my pride and completely rewritten the 1st (and 2nd) chapters–Something I was advised to do in the beginning. What can I say? I’m stubborn. Rewriting, felt tantamount to failure. How could I be so wrong? No, I’m not. It’s obviously awesome and they simply can’t see it. (Can anyone say delusional?) Still, I did it; painful as it was.
That was three weeks ago.
Needless to say, the inspiration did not last. Ultimately, the crushing disappointment morphed into full on depression. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was starting over at square one. Would I need to rewrite the whole book? Was anything salvageable? How had I gotten so far with what was obviously a mess? I mean, clearly I was being dramatic, but it didn’t change the fact that I withdrew from all things even remotely productive. Instead, I read five books–no wait, six–in two and a half days. None of which benefited my writing in the least. I might have a problem.
Well, I’m back now and tired of wallowing. Just because there is a lot going on in my life at the moment, doesn’t mean I should roll over and give up on my dreams. Sara’s Moon will be the book it deserves to be. It will be great; maybe not for everyone and that’s okay. The truth is, I want more than anything to be proud of the story itself, not just the fact that I finished it.
My audience deserves that.
I deserve that.