To catch you up real quick, I have finished Hart’s Redemption, but am holding off on edits while I focus on editing another project. This project would be Darkness Defined, the first book of War on Darkness. It’s been a minute since I reviewed it and now seemed like a great time to reacquaint myself with one of my all time favorites (even though I’m not supposed to have those). If you recall, I submitted queries to two agents for this work. And….have now heard back from both.
Wanna guess what the answer was?
If you guessed REJECTED, you would be correct.
Before you start spouting all the reasons not to be down, I’ve heard all the “comforts”. That it’s part of the process and you know so-and-so was rejected for years before they got picked and look at them now. But you know what? I’m not them. I have no idea how they managed to keep going in the face of all that no. It’s a huge hit to the ego and basically makes me question everything I think is good. I love my books, but should anyone else?
This would be where that pesky imposter syndrome rears its ugly head. While there are people who have read pretty much everything I’ve written and said it’s not only good, but great… Do I actually believe them? Because clearly I’m missing something. And again, yes, I know it is only two rejections, that it only takes one to say yes. But why does it have to be the 102nd submission? Why can’t it be the first?
I know rejection happens and I know I should be logical and remember it’s a numbers game, but, yeah…I’m not doing well. I wish I was doing better, that I didn’t take it so personally. I have a writing buddy that is an adamant believer in celebrating the rejections, because it brings you that much closer to an acceptance. As a matter of fact, that is verbatim what they told me when I conveyed the disheartening news earlier today. They take that business seriously. Don’t believe me? I bet you the first 500 words of Darkness Defined that by the end of the day they ask me if I’ve cracked open some wine to celebrate yet. I’ll even post it tomorrow.
At any rate, I’ll keep going. I still have so many more stories to tell and I hope one day you get to see them, even if it means publishing them independently. There are guaranteed more rejections in my future. These stories aren’t for everyone, but they are for someone and I’m not giving up until I find them.